Divorce Talk: 6 Things to Consider Before You Say Goodbye

Saying goodbye, whether to a person or a place, can be a painful thing. The emotional rollercoaster involved can be very overwhelming. Some people choose to avoid saying it altogether, but this may not be a wise decision. Life is very unpredictable, a reason to take it by its terms. If you are thinking of saying goodbye, here are some things to consider before you do it.

1. Nature of Your Relationship

Understanding how much you mean to a person can guide you on how to craft your goodbye. Saying goodbye to a family member or lover is not the same approach you will use on your neighbor or friend. Therefore, it is necessary to know how connected you are to an individual. If it is a close relationship, you may opt to ease in the idea slowly rather than bombarding them with the news. This will take off the shock element and prepare them for your departure.

Goodbyes are tough for loved ones because some take time to adjust. Evaluating the emotional bondage involved will help make the process more bearable, especially in marital relationships. If you are considering divorce, talking to a decorated attorney before you make a decision can help you approach things the right way. It pays to ask yourself a few questions considering the consequence of divorce to both of you as a couple. A good family law attorney can provide you with a wealth of advice to help you make the right decision every step of the way.  

2. Time to Be Spent Away

There are temporary and permanent goodbyes. Temporary onesis when you leave for a short or long duration, but eventually, you will be back. Permanent goodbyes are when you expect not to have any future contact. This is if you are moving to a different continent or are expecting to pass on soon. Knowing the details will help plan the exact words to be used. You do not want to instill false hope nor appear insensitive.

If you will be back, using words like see you soon will bring comfort and assurances. Final goodbyes are more sensitive. In this situation, it is necessary to remind the other party how well you cherished time together. Knowing the timeline can also be a call to action for activities you never got to do.

3. Possible Alternatives

Sometimes like when under emotional turmoil, you may make irrational decisions of leaving. This mostly happens between couples, as mentioned earlier. Therefore, before saying goodbye, revisit the actions that led you to the decision. You may find out that the situation is salvageable. By analyzing where the fault was made and how to mend that, you can prevent making a poor decision. However, never let the thought of losing confine you in a toxic relationship or an unhappy situation. The idea is to weigh your options and decide if not saying goodbye is a healthy alternative.

4.  The Next Step

Before saying goodbye, it would be wise to have a plan. If you say it without having an idea of your next course of action, it can be detrimental. If you want to move out, have a clear plan of where you are going and for what purpose. Having a good mental picture and a clear plan of your way forward ensures you are not stranded emotionally or physically. It can be depressing to cut connections only to realize you need them back. This is emotional torture that neither you nor your people should be put through. Therefore, if you have no idea of your next move, the goodbyes should be put on hold.

5. The Parting Location and Time

The place you chose will contribute to how your news will be received. You want a setting that is calm and allows you to interact without disturbance. This means using parties or crowded places is not an option. This is because there can be miscommunication which can lead to hurt feelings. Especially when ending a relationship, the timing of goodbyes should also be considered thoughtfully. Avoid disclosing the news during a cranky day or sad moment. This is to avoid overburdening the other person during their lowest time.  Therefore, choose a space that allows for one on one interaction. It can be a garden, coffee shop, or a spot you are both nostalgic about.

6. Method to Use

There are various ways to say goodbyes. You can do it face to face, via a letter, gift, poem, or song. When choosing the method, you should consider all the other factors. A close person may feel offended and hurt if they found a letter with no prior explanations. Having a poem, quote, or song back up your words can be very comforting. This means your emotions are sincere. The use of a gift gives the other person something to hold on to, making the process more tolerable. Therefore, you have to be careful to avoid making the situation worse.

However much we try to avoid them, goodbyes are inevitable. Using the above tips, you can prepare for any situation to reduce misunderstandings or further emotional anguish. Remember, it is okay to be sad, but it should not prevent you from taking the next step.