Trump Legislation Leaves Loophole for Drunken Dancing Along Keystone XL Pipeline

On Friday, the administration issued the permit allowing the Keystone XL pipeline to be constructed, but President Donald Trump apparently left one loophole for the people somewhat neutral on the matter.


One hidden provision allows for “silly, drunken, ritualistic dancing” along approved stretches of the controversial pipeline. “We had to leave some room for self-expression. Plus, the news needs something to report,” said White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer in an unrelated interview.


However, employees involved in the construction would be prohibited from dancing within a quarter-mile of the pipeline. Any individual involved in dancing would have to be at least 90 feet away.


Also, any dancing would be restricted to Tuesdays and Thursdays, between the hours of 11:30am and 1:00pm, or 2:30 and 4:00pm, depending on the time of year and the moods of the local sheriffs.